Internal Family Systems (IFS): Your Parts Are Trying to Protect You
- Audrey Malone, MSW, LCSW
- Feb 8
- 3 min read
Have you ever noticed how quickly your inner world can shift?
One moment you feel confident and clear—and the next you’re spiraling, shutting down, people-pleasing, overthinking, snapping, or going numb. It can feel confusing… even discouraging.
Internal Family Systems (IFS) offers a different way to understand what’s happening:
Your parts aren’t “bad.”
They’re trying to protect you.
IFS was developed by Richard C. Schwartz and is often introduced through his book No Bad Parts.
What is Internal Family Systems (IFS), really?
IFS is a therapy approach that views the mind as an inner system made up of parts—like an inner family.
Not “multiple personalities.”Not something that means you’re broken.
Just a very human reality: we can hold more than one feeling, belief, or impulse at the same time.
In IFS, the goal isn’t to eliminate parts—it’s to understand them, soften the internal struggle, and help your system feel safer and more supported.
Your protectors make sense
Many clients feel relief when they realize their reactions aren’t random—often, a protective part is stepping in to help them feel safe.
The part that criticizes you might be trying to prevent failure or rejection.
The part that overthinks might be trying to create certainty to keep you safe.
The part that shuts down might be trying to protect you from overwhelm.
The part that people-pleases might be trying to preserve connection.
Even the parts you don’t like usually have a reason.
Protectors often work so hard because at some point… they had to.
Meet your protectors (the ones who show up when life gets big)
IFS commonly talks about protectors in two styles:
Managers (the “stay ahead of it” protectors)These parts try to prevent pain by staying in control—planning, perfecting, performing, fixing, caretaking, monitoring.
Firefighters (the “put the fire out now” protectors)These parts jump in when emotions surge—numbing, avoiding, scrolling, overworking, shutting down, reacting fast.
In IFS, we don’t shame protectors. We get curious:What are you trying to protect me from? What are you afraid would happen if you didn’t do this?
The part underneath the protector
Often, protectors are guarding something tender—an older part that carries fear, grief, shame, loneliness, or “I’m not enough.”
IFS sometimes calls these exiles—not because they’re wrong, but because they’ve often been pushed away inside so we can keep functioning.
When protectors feel safe enough, the work becomes less about “fixing” you and more about caring for what’s been carrying too much for too long.
Self: your steadier center
IFS also points to something many people recognize once they experience it: Self—your grounded, compassionate center.
It’s the place in you that can hold curiosity instead of judgment, and steadiness instead of panic. In IFS, Self is not another part—it’s the inner leader that can support the whole system.
How IFS therapy works (in plain language)
In sessions, IFS helps you:
Notice what’s happening inside (without getting swallowed by it)
Create a little space (“a part of me feels…” instead of “this is all of me”)
Build a relationship with protectors rather than battling them
Understand what they’re protecting
Help the system update so parts can relax into healthier roles over time
People often describe IFS as the first approach that helps them feel more connected to themselves—instead of constantly fighting themselves.
Ready to start IFS therapy? We’d love to help.
At Be Well Collective, we offer therapy that’s warm, collaborative, and deeply respectful of your inner world.
Audrey Malone, LCSW and Tracy Alvarado, LPCC are trained in Internal Family Systems and can help you work with your protectors in a way that feels safe, steady, and empowering.
